Excerpts from a recent gem on McSweeney’s:
I’m confused, maybe someone can help me. This is like the third assassination attempt on Julius Caesar, but things are going great in Rome. The value of silver is strong, the liberti/bad homines immigration is under control, and we’ve bounced back from the bubonic pandemic.
I heard one person say it’s because he’s trying to seize power from the Senate and become an all-powerful dictator, but like, just because he refused to concede power when his term as governor ended and then sent his military across the Rubicon, essentially doing an insurrection on Rome, doesn’t indicate any of that. If that were the case, wouldn’t the Senate say something? Haven’t heard anything from Brutus or Cassius yet, so that’s a non-starter.
Some are also pointing to the preemptive strike on Carthage and how it doesn’t seem to have clearly defined objectives or a coherent exit strategy, and could potentially ignite Punic War III. But taking out an adversary’s enriched trebuchet program and stockpile of intercontinental ballista munitions is imperative to the safety of the entire world, so even though Caesar seems to be making it up as he goes along as an excuse to blow stuff up, we should still just trust our Commander in Chief. He wouldn’t lie to us, even though he constantly lies to us.
Sure, one could also make the economic argument. Inflation is devaluing silver, he’s gutting finance to healers and apothecaries, his corrupt policies only help his aristocrat friends, his tariffs on the Silk Road are backfiring and pushing the expenses down to local agora merchants and traders, and his corruption is creating extreme poverty among the lower and middle castes as well as low global confidence in our Republic, but that’s just how this stuff works. We should trust him on economic issues; he’s a businessman…
Disclaimer:
Hyehudi.org does not condone harm toward any holder of the purple ש”ט. Any tales of violence Roman or Republic serve strictly for illustrative effect.