An Important Gemara for Those in Shidduchim

Miriam as Azuvah–Rejected: The Little-Known Story of How Miriam HaNeviah Found Her Shidduch

7/1/2021

A truly caring friend makes sure to send me the Bitachon Weekly every week. Bursting with fascinating Torah ideas, it also gleans from a wealth of Navordok mussar.

I love it.

For Parshat Shemot, it mentions a little-known fact about Miriam HaNeviah (the Prophetess):

In contrast to the majority of other saintly personalities throughout the Torah, Moshe Rabbeinu’s famous big sister was not so good-looking.

And that’s putting it lightly.​


Rejected, Sickly, and Pale

Sotah 12a explains how Miriam was known by different names to reflect her unfortunate situation:

  • Yeriot (curtains)—because her face was extremely pale like yeriot.
  • Chelah (sickly)—because she was sickly.
  • Azuvah (rejected, abandoned)—because “everyone abandoned her” due to not wanting to marry her because of her sickly, unattractive appearance (!!!)

It’s hard to believe after everything she did for Am Yisrael, no one wanted to marry her due to her sickly, unattractive self.

Such wholesale rejection implies severe unattractiveness (but Chazal is too nice to come right out & say it. But the implication is definitely there).

Also, think of the tremendous slap-in-the-face against the concept of positive middah-k’neged-middah (measure-for-measure) this must have seemed.

After all, since her young girlhood, Miriam HaNeviah embodied the concept of unswerving loyalty.

She stood by the continuation of Am Yisrael by encouraging the fruitfulness of Am Yisrael under the sick decree of Pharaoh against the newborn boys of Yisrael.

She stood by her baby brother as he floated down the Nile.

Later, she risked her life as Puah to stand by Am Yisrael as a dedicated midwife, saving life after life.

She never abandoned one Jew, even at risk to her own life.

​So how was it that she herself was abandoned & rejected to such an extreme?

Also, while sickly is never an asset, it used to be worse before modern technology.

With so much of the most basic domestic duties demanding intensive labor (getting a fire going, digging up vegetables & washing them without running water, hand-washing laundry, cooking, childbirth, nursing, childcare, etc.) that challenged a healthy woman, how could a sickly woman possibly manage?

Sure, in the Midbar, bnei Yisrael enjoyed the luxury of manna & the Cloud Pillar (which did the laundry), but women still faced other demands.

And can you imagine being such an object of rejection that it becomes your name?

You know how people sarcastically say, “If you look up _____ in the dictionary, you’ll find my name under the definition”?

Well, for Miriam, it was literally true! Azuvah. Rejected. Abandoned. Unwanted.

Yet one man rose to the occasion: Kalev ben Yefuneh.


Her Greatest Flaws were Paradoxically Her Greatest Assets

Yes, Kalev again. The famously positive & emunah-filled spy.

​Kalev married Miriam solely for her holy personality.

And because he married l’Shem Shamayim (for the sake of Heaven, for the purest motives), Kalev earned unique merits; Hashem rewarded him richly.

After marriage, Miriam’s appearance transformed into the opposite of what it had been.

Thus, she became known by new names:

  • Vardon (a type of rose)—because she developed a beautiful rose-like appearance
  • Na’arah (young woman)—because she became healthy & beautiful like the ideal young woman.

While her initial state of extended singlehood may not have seemed fair (after all, she was a savior of Am Yisrael—and saved Am Yisrael more than once!), it was her flaws that launched her into a marriage with one of the best men of the Nation.

American Elite Repeating Steps That Led to French Revolution; Wise Jews Would Make Themselves Scarce

Read the letter found here:

Senator Patty Murray
Senator Maria Cantwell
Washington, DC 20510

Dear Senators:
I have tried to live by the rules my entire life. My father was a Command Sergeant Major, U.S. Army, who died of combat related stresses shortly after his retirement. It was he who instilled in me those virtues he felt important – honesty, duty, patriotism and obeying the laws of God and of our various governments. I have served my country, paid my taxes, worked hard, volunteered and donated my fair share of money, time and artifacts.

Today, as I approach my 79th birthday, I am heart-broken when I look at my country and my government. I shall only point out a very few things abysmally wrong which you can multiply by a thousand fold. I have calculated that all the money I have paid in income taxes my entire life cannot even keep the Senate barbershop open for one year! Only Heaven and a few tight-lipped actuarial types know what the Senate dining room costs the taxpayers. So please, enjoy your haircuts and meals on us.

Last year, the president spent an estimated $1.4 billion on himself and his family. The vice president spends $ millions on hotels. They have had 8 vacations so far this year! And our House of Representatives and Senate have become America’s answer to the Saudi royal family. You have become the “perfumed princes and princesses” of our country.

In the middle of the night, you voted in the Affordable Health Care Act, a.k.a. “Obamacare,” a bill which no more than a handful of senators or representatives read more than several paragraphs, crammed it down our throats, and then promptly exempted yourselves from it substituting your own taxpayer-subsidized golden health care insurance. (Let’s eliminate that exemption and put the Congress under the Affordable Health Care Act)

You live exceedingly well, eat and drink as well as the “one percenters,” consistently vote yourselves perks and pay raises while making 3.5 times the average U.S. individual income, and give up nothing while you (as well as the president and veep) ask us to sacrifice due to sequestration (for which, of course, you plan to blame the Republicans, anyway).

You understand very well the only two rules you need to know – (1) How to get elected, and (2) How to get re-elected. And you do this with the aid of an eagerly willing and partisan press, speeches permeated with a certain economy of truth, and by buying the votes of the greedy, the ill-informed and under-educated citizens (and non-citizens, too, many of whom do vote ) who are looking for a handout rather than a job. Your so-called “safety net” has become a hammock for the lazy. And, what is it now, about 49 or 50 million on food stamps – pretty much all Democrat voters – and the program is absolutely rife with fraud and absolutely no congressional oversight?

I would offer that you are not entirely to blame. What changed you is the seductive environment of power in which you have immersed yourselves. It is the nature of both houses of Congress which requires you to subordinate your virtue in order to get anything done until you have achieved a leadership role. To paraphrase President Reagan, it appears that the second oldest profession (politics), bears a remarkably strong resemblance to the oldest.

As the hirsute first Baron John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton (1834 -1902), English historian and moralist, so aptly and accurately stated, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.” I’m only guessing that this applies to the female sex as well. Tell me, is there a more corrupt entity in this country than Congress?

While we middle class people continue to struggle, our government becomes less and less transparent, more and more bureaucratic, and ever so much more dictatorial, using Czars and Secretaries to tell us (just to mention a very few) what kind of light bulbs we must purchase, how much soda or hamburgers we can eat, what cars we can drive, gasoline to use, and what health care we must buy. Countless thousands of pages of regulations strangle our businesses costing the consumer more and more every day.

As I face my final year, or so, with cancer, my president and my government tell me “You’ll just have to take a pill,” while you, Senator, your colleagues, the president, and other exulted government officials and their families will get the best possible health care on our tax dollars until you are called home by your Creator while also enjoying a retirement beyond my wildest dreams, which of course, you voted for yourselves and we pay for.

The chances of you reading this letter are practically zero as your staff will not pass it on, but with a little luck, a form letter response might be generated by them with an auto signature applied, hoping we will believe that you, our senator or representative, has heard us and actually cares. This letter will, however, go on line where many others will have the chance to read one person’s opinion, rightly or wrongly, about this government, its administration and its senators and representatives.

I only hope that occasionally you might quietly thank the taxpayer for all the generous entitlements which you have voted yourselves, for which, by law, we must pay, unless, of course, it just goes on the $19 trillion national debt for which your children and ours, and your grandchildren and ours, ad infinitum, must eventually try to pick up the tab.

My final thoughts are that it must take a person who has either lost his or her soul, or conscience, or both, to seek re-election and continue to destroy the country that I deeply love. You have put it so far in debt that we will never pay it off while your lot improves by the minute, because of your power.

For you, Senator, will never stand up to the rascals in your House who constantly deceive the American people. And that, my dear Senator, is how power has corrupted you and the entire Congress. The only answer to clean up this cesspool is term limits and replacing their retirement with the same Social Security plan the rest of us will receive (if they don’t put that program into bankruptcy) . This, of course, will kill the goose that lays your golden eggs. And woe be to him (or her) who would dare to bring it up.

Sincerely,
Bill Schoonover
3096 Angela Lane
Oak Harbor, WA

Old Antinomian Article by Rabbi Shlomo Aschkenasy – Plus Comments

Fire Control

By Harav Shlomo Aschkenasy

We are coming out of Pesach after long weeks of meticulous preparation climaxed by the holiday of self-restraint. Even those who spent these holy days in a five star hotel in some exotic vacation spot, certainly were very careful not to eat gebroks and have only shmurah matzos. Some of us even wore a kittel at the Seder just as they do on Yom Kippur. It is a truly exhilarating experience from which we can walk away thinking, Now we are holy.  Oh it’s true. The seeds of holiness have been implanted but we have a long way to go before we get the final product. The seeds of holiness need to be cultivated so that they blossom, grow and flourish.

I didn’t know five-star hotels were about restraint. Actually, Pesach’s holiness derives from destroying the Chametz, but no longer any need, because We The Enlightened now invented a loophole unknown to Chazal (e.g., Chulin 4) of “selling” everything to a Goy.

We count up! We make an effort to do acts which show that we want to really improve. We don’t merely “count the Sefirah.” Chassidim of yore had astonishing expectations and grandiose plans for the Sefirah. They said that if you let a day of Sefirah go by without doing something which is an expression of the middah of that day, it is as if you haven’t counted and the bracha made is tantamount to a bracha levatala.

Keeping halacha is “merely” and a “Bracha levatala” to boot?!

Every day has its avodah. The holy Arizal revealed that every day has special energy which we can tap into and use to improve our middos. Every day has its exercises which we can do to strengthen our spirituality so that we are fit to undertake the responsibilities of kabbolas haTorah. Sefarim say that the “forty-eight ways to attain Torah” which are enumerated in the sixth perek of Pirkei Avos correspond to the days of the omer. The 49th day is designed for summary and consolidation.

Arizal’s “energy exercises” and revelations are for all Hamodia’s readers?

We have our work cut out for us. But we also have a stockpile of siyatta diShmaya available for use. As Chazal say, Yagata umatzata, “If you struggle, you will find.” Finding means that you have come upon a metziah, much more than you expected and bargained for. You will attain unexpected heights and reveal the hidden spiritual treasures of these special days.

The rabbi falsifies the Torah. “Yagata umatzata etc.” refers to remembering one’s Torah study, and not the Arizal’s “Avoda”.

Parashas Shemini teaches us a similar lesson in an awesome way. But before we say anything about Nadav and Avihu we have to preface it with a principle I learned from my Rebbe Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, zt”l.

He taught us that whenever we learn a parashah in the Torah (including Torah shebaal peh – Oral Torah) we should not take it at face value, in simplicity. The Torah isn’t merely a report; it is as it is called – Torah, to teach a lesson. It isn’t just a picture or painting of a scene; it’s a vehicle to transmit a message. The most stark example of this is when Hashem says to Avraham that “I will go down” (Bereishis 18:21) to see what was happening in Sedom. Although for Hashem there is no such concept as “going down”, Rashi says that the Torah writes this to instruct us how judges should behave. Before passing judgment they should see things for themselves.

So, Hashem didn’t go down to Bavel; did Yaakov and his sons go down to Egypt, at least? I want to believe Rabbi Aschkenasy’s own personal, later choices make him misremember what he heard (I didn’t check Rabbi Shmuelevitz inside). Or maybe the parentheses above regarding “Torah sheba’al peh” are Rabbi Aschkenasy’s own addition. What does he do with all the “Giluy Milsa” from pesukim in Shas?

Moshe Rabbeinu testified that Nadav and Avihu were the greatest people in Klal Yisrael. What did they do wrong? Chazal give various explanations, none of which shed light in an understandable way as to how such great people could sin in such a way. One thing is clear: that it was their unprecedented height of sanctity that brought on their demise. It might be because they were so great that the smallest deviation was too much for them.

Wait, I thought it’s called Torah, to teach us lessons?! So, the only lesson is that holy sins at the holy hotel stem from our “unprecedented height of sanctity”, which we fix by imaginary “Avoda” we attribute to the Arizal during the Omer?

The sins Chazal ascribe to them aren’t to be taken at face value, as Chazal say about Reuven and David Hamelech. Yet there was a whisk of something asunder, which Chazal understood as a message for us. If such great people could be mistaken on their level, we certainly should double check ourselves even if we are on a “spiritual high”.

While the Torah is “explicit” regarding David and Reuven, Chazal explain it differently. But the Torah is vague regarding Nadav&Avihu, while Chazal elaborate. How can we then water down Chazal, as well?! Be a consistent Karaite. And if Chazal say something is halachically out, is that, too — how does he put it? — “a whisk of something asunder“?

How can ex-Litvaks fall so low as to imagine “spiritual highs”, a universal human experience everywhere and always, indicate anything Ultimate? Since Chazal’s words are too rarified for the Hamodia reader’s delicate ears, let’s censor them out altogether; being the same reader self-deluding himself (herself, more likely) with Arizal “Avodah”.

The clearest guidelines for that is to verify that whatever we do is within the framework of halachah. Because even for the holiest, the end does not justify the means.

The Chasidiot entertains the knuckle-headed notion that “because they were so great the smallest deviation was too much for them“. But, the Torah has no “Ends” and no “Means” (with an added framework of inexplicable, insipid restrictions). No, rather the holier a person, the more zealous about all of God’s word!

In light of this we can appreciate the fact that the Torah’s restrictions against inebriation prior to doing the avodah follow the tragedy. Intoxication with love of Hashem may not come from outside sources. The Torah itself should be our soul source of inspiration.

Does Rabbi Aschkenasy mean “sole”? Are mixed hotels with Yichud stumbling blocks (like Ginos on the mo’adim), too, “outside sources”? “Intoxication with love of Hashem” is all?

On the heels of this command, Aharon receives the code of kashrus for animals. Chazal say that one should not say, “I detest non-kosher animals.” On the contrary, we should say, “I’d love to eat them but what can I do, Hashem prohibited them.”

Rav Chaim Shmulevitz commented that Chazal aren’t merely referring to culinary tastes and preferences. They meant even in the spiritual dimensions. If someone abstains from non-kosher food because he comprehends its spiritual damage, he is not properly fulfilling the command. That is why Aharon was chosen as the conduit for these laws. In order to impress the message upon us not to make the same costly mistake his children made. Our decision to do or not to do should be based solely on the will of Hashem and His decree. May we always have the presence of mind to abide by it no matter how fired up we may be.

End.

No depth; he speaks out of both sides of his mouth.

Enough said.

קול החינוך גליון 153#

יו”ל ע”י ‘ועד הורים’ – בהכוונת גדולי התורה שליט”א

[קול החינוך עוסק במלחמת מדינת ישראל בחינוך יהודי עצמאי.]

* למסירת מידע ומשלוח מסמכים בס”ד 03-691-5752, טלפקס: 6915752@okmail.co.il

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