Chochma Bagoyim: Even ASSUMING Children Should Be Allowed a Smartphone, Let’s Delay at Least…

What’s the Right Age to Get a Kid Their First Smartphone? 3 Tech Thinkers Weigh In

Brett & Kate McKay • July 8, 2021

Parents have long had to figure out when to let their kids pass through certain “firsts” and milestones as they grow up. First time walking to the bus stop by themselves. First time riding their bike to a convenience store on their own. Getting a job. Getting a driver’s license.

In each case, the parent must decide whether in granting a new privilege, the child is ready to take on the responsibility that goes with it. They must weigh whether the risks that are attendant to the new freedom are worth the benefits the child will gain. With the exception of getting a driver’s license, no external entities set a definitive age for when an appropriate balance of these factors is typically reached. Parents just have to use their practical wisdom, and wing it.

The improvised nature of these kinds of decisions is particularly acute when it comes to dealing with an issue that didn’t even exist when many of today’s parents were growing up: when a kid should get their first smartphone.

What’s the Right Age to Get a Kid Their First Smartphone?

When to allow a young adult to get their first smartphone is a fraught question. On the one hand, there is research that links the amount of time a person spends online with higher rates of depression and anxiety, and every adult knows how much distraction their own phones create — and they’re not even as socially attuned and connected as their kids!

On the other hand, having a smartphone can be crucial for allowing young adults to socialize with their friends these days (and for facilitating schoolwork and extracurriculars as well). Cutting them off from those opportunities to integrate with their peers may cause the very depression a smartphone-withholding parent is trying to prevent.

The average age at which a child gets their own smartphone these days is ten. But is that actually a good age for parents to introduce this kind of powerful technology into their children’s lives? Is there a best age to introduce a smartphone that allows kids to take advantage of its connection-building benefits, while mitigating its potentially negative effects?

While answering this question isn’t a science, we wondered how folks who have spent a ton of time thinking about the impact that digital technology has had on human minds and culture would weigh in on it. (Bill Gates, for one, didn’t allow his three children to have smartphones until each was 14 years old). We thus reached out to three tech thinkers to see what they had to say:

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From The Art of Manliness, here.

Was the Six-Day War Victory Miraculous? Testimony From Those Actually Present

Israel’s latest operation in Gaza, a few weeks ago, ended like most of the other conflicts and campaigns over its 73 years of statehood: in military victory but widespread vilification by the nations of the world: in other words, a bittersweet victory.

 

But there was one conflict, whose “yahrzeit” is this June, that turned out to be one of the most dramatic and emotional events in modern Jewish history – a mix of Chanukah’s “many in the hands of the few” and Purim’s vena’apoch hu. Those who remember what happened share their memories of the terrifying three-week prelude to the Six Day War and the utter jubilation at its miraculous conclusion.

*  *  *

It was 1967. After the difficult early days of the new state of Israel, things had settled down. People accepted reality and lived within the “crazy” borders and without Yerushalayim’s Old City and its Kotel.

It was a very different Israel then, a third-world country. Few people had telephones or cars. There was no television. In the poorer neighborhoods of Yerushalayim, people had only one faucet in the house and cooking, heating, and even light were fueled by kerosene.

Yerushalayim was small; you could walk from Geula in the north to its southernmost neighborhood in less then an hour. The Old City, to the east, was like a faraway country behind a barbed-wired barrier. A barren, weed-infested no-man’s-land occupied the space where the light rail turns north today. On Tisha b’Av, people climbed up to Har Zion to gaze at the Old City and the Temple Mount, the site of the Beis Hamikdash. A less welcome sight was the Jordanian soldiers in red-checked kaffiyas with their rifles.

*  *  *

Rebbetzin Rochel Kelemer came to Eretz Yisrael in 1966 with her husband, Rav Yehudah Kelemer, zt”l (subsequently the longtime rabbi of the Young Israel of West Hempstead). They were newlyweds, one of only a handful of American couples in the Mir Yeshiva. “We lived in the one house on Rechov Hamaapilim in Katamon,” says Rebbetzin Kelemer. “Today, the street goes way down. It was the only furnished apartment we could find, available only because it belonged to a diplomat who was sent to Vienna. In those days, chareidim lived all over the city. The only predominately chareidi neighborhoods were Bayit Vegan and Mattesdorf. The last house in Bayit Vegan was number 84, and there were only two buildings in Mattesdorf.”

*  *  *

Rabbi Binyamin “Benji” Levene, the grandson of Rav Aryeh Levene, the fabled “tzadik of Yerushalayim,” grew up in America, in Jersey City, and spent his summers with his grandfather in his Nachlaot room.

“My grandfather would get up at 5:30 and go daven in a shul on Rechov Yafo called Zoharei Hachama, opposite Machaneh Yehuda. It was called that because it was in a building with a big sundial on it….I went to shul later, and when I came home, my grandfather wanted to cook me breakfast. First I had to go upstairs to my aunt to get some eggs and olive oil. He didn’t have a stove, just a Primus, which was more like a camp stove. Nest, he took out a frying pan that I was sure came from the Beis Hamikdash. He filled it with olive oil. He would make me an egg; then he gave me some matzas left over from Pesach. I’ve eaten breakfast in many places, but that was the most delicious breakfast I ever had.

“My grandfather was the rav of a little shul,” Rabbi Levene continues, “where many of the members were the underground freedom fighters from pre-State days – the Lechi, the Irgun. They were really tough. Menachem Begin would drop in there, and a seat in the front row still has the name Ruvi Rivlin, today’s president.”

War Is Coming

The lead-up to the war began in mid-May, 1967. Gamal Abdul Nasser, the president of Egypt, decided that the time was ripe to destroy the Jewish state once and for all. Over the course of a week, Nasser mobilized his troops and massed them in the Sinai desert. He blocked the Straits of Tiran to Israeli shipping. And he demanded the evacuation of the UN buffer force in the Sinai. All were acts of war and violations of agreements and guarantees made after the Sinai campaign of 1956. They were accompanied by riotous mobs in the Arab capitals screaming that they would “drive the Jews into the sea.”

The Israelis were terrified. Just 19 years after the founding of the state and 22 years since the Holocaust, Jews were once again threatened with genocide. In America and around the world, Jews davened, collected money and shared in the fear.

Rabbi Dr. Ivan Lerner says, “In the weeks leading up to the Six Day War, I vividly recall my grandfather saying, ‘After pogroms, after six million were murdered, after so many died in 1948, we are now watching another Holocaust about to take place. The world hates Jews, the UN is against us, the U.S. and the Europeans are doing nothing to help Israel. The situation is hopeless.’

“My grandfather wasn’t the only one who thought that. My parents and most of the Jews I knew felt that Israel’s end was near. The fully-equipped armies and air forces of Egypt, Jordan, and Syria – supported by Jordan. Iraq, Algeria, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Tunisia, Libya, and Morocco – combined their resources in order to destroy Israel. They stated their objective – Israel’s annihilation – and amassed huge armies on Israel’s borders poised to attack.”

As Prime Minister Levi Eshkol stalled, trying to gain American support for an Israeli attack, and diplomats scurried around world capitals, the people of Israel languished in anguish and anxiety.

“It is hard to exaggerate what it was like for Israel in those three weeks,” wrote Charles Krauthammer, columnist for the Washington Post. “With troops and armor massing on Israel’s every frontier, jubilant broadcasts in every Arab capital hailed the imminent final war for the extermination of Israel. ‘We shall destroy Israel and its inhabitants,’ declared PLO head Ahmed Shuqayri, ‘and as for the survivors – if there are any – the boats are ready to deport them.’”

In Israel, all the reservists were called in. The Chief Rabbinate consecrated city parks as cemeteries, and many thousands of graves were dug in Tel Aviv’s Yarkon Park. Hotels were designated as first aid stations. The basement bomb shelters of buildings were cleared out, and citizens blackened their windows and packed emergency bags for when the sirens began. The soldiers sat on the borders for two long weeks, waiting for they-knew-not-what, and the cities and villages were emptied of men. The crops were not tended, the economy bled, and future war hero, Chief of Staff Yitzhak Rabin, had a nervous breakdown from the unbearable tension.

Americans Choose

Meanwhile, Americans in Israel had to decide whether to go or stay.

Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisrael, Harav Aharon Feldman, was learning in Kollel Chazon Ish in Bnei Brak. Rebbetzin Lea Feldman remembers the dilemma. “We had five children, and we were citizens of America,” she says. “We could escape if we wanted to. My husband went to the Steipler and asked if we should go back to America. The Steipler said, no, don’t go back. Nothing serious is going to happen; it will end in the best way; don’t worry. I remember davening to Hashem: ‘Please, Hashem, I went through hunger and difficult times during World War II. Please don’t let my children do the same.’ One good thing came of it,” says Rebbetzin Feldman. “Our neighbor told us later that he used to look out his window. Every time he saw our children playing on the mirpesset (balcony), it gave him tremendous encouragement.”

*  *  *

Lieba Brown, who made aliyah about 15 years ago after a long “detour” through Los Angeles, was 18 and on a gap-year program. “I was in Saad, a religious kibbutz right next to the Gaza Strip. One Friday night, I saw the men leave the chadar ochel with guns and jeeps – on Shabbos. I knew something was up. Our leaders came and took us to Yerushalayim. On the way, we passed columns of tanks traveling south. Most of our group went home to the U.S., but I said, ‘This is my home.’ I wrote to my parents that I wanted to stay, and for some reason, they agreed.

“I was sent to a kibbutz in the center of the country, which was supposedly safer. All the windows in the kibbutz were covered with black-out paper, and all the outside lights were off. We practiced walking to the bomb shelters in pitch darkness. Here, too, the men were gone, so they sent us to the fields to harvest the cotton. The kibbutz turned out to be not so safe. It was next to Latrun, the site of a big battle with Jordan. I heard the sounds of battle and saw the smoke and the fighter jets roaring across the sky. It was scary but I wasn’t afraid. I was young, and when you’re young you don’t think anything will happen to you.”

*  *  *

Rabbi Moshe Juravel, longtime rebbe at the Torah Institute, was a bachur at the time, learning at Slobodka yeshiva in Bnei Brak. He says, “The country was in a state of high alert. The stores were empty. The banks and post office shut down. There was barely any bus service. The men were all drafted. There was great fear. Everyone understood that war was coming. My Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Mordechai Schulman, paid for my ticket to leave Eretz Yisrael.”

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From Where What When, here.

Techeiles-Wearer R’ Lichtenstein Presents: Just the Highlights

6/5/21– Shiur 325 – The great Techeilis debate – Hear from the Gedolei Hador and Gedolei Haposkim

Do we know what the Techeilis is – Is it the murex or the cuttlefish? Are you obligated to wear it because of Safek? 

with Hagaon Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky – Rosh Yeshiva of Philadelphia – 20:10
with Hagaon Rav Menachem Mendel Shafran – Av Beis Din Hayashar V’hatov Yerushalayim, Rosh Yeshiva Noam Hatorah Bnei Brak – 20:34
with Hagaon Rav Dovid Cohen – Rov of Gvul Yaavetz, Renowned Posek, Mechaber seforim – 21:30
with Hagaon Rav Herschel Schachter – Rosh Yeshiva & Rosh Kollel YU, Leading Posek of OU –   25:10
with Hagaon Rav Nissin Kaplan – Maggid Shiur, Mir Yerushalayim – 28:26
with Hagaon Rav David Yosef – Rosh Kollel Yachveh Da’at Kollel, Chief Rabbi of Har Nof, Member Moetzet Chachmei HaTorah – 34:57
with Rabbi Bentzion Halberstam, Rav of Khal Chassidim Westgate – 36:03
with Hagaon Rav Moshe Heineman – Rov of Agudas Yisroel Baltimore, Renowned Poseik – 55:40
with Rabbi Michoel Shlomo Bar-Ron – Founder Torath Moshe learning center – 1:11:54

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From Headlines in Halacha, here.

The State of Israel’s Misandric Divorce Laws

Bezalel Smotrich: ‘Insane’ that divorced fathers shouldn’t have anything to eat

‘Discrimination against divorced fathers one of the worst crimes today in Israel, percentage of suicides is disproportionate,’ Smotrich says.

Yehonatan Gottlieb , Jul 08 , 2021 4:06 PM

MK Bezalel Smotrich, who heads the Knesset’s Religious Zionism party, has called on Welfare Minister Meir Cohen (Yesh Atid) to eliminate the discrimination against divorced fathers.

“One of the worst crimes happening today in the State of Israel is the discrimination against divorced fathers,” Smotrich said. “It’s a complex and complicated issue. It has a lot of facets and small letters.”

Smotrich recalled his pre-election promise to change how the issue is managed, prevent parental alienation, and prevent abuse of false allegations as a way of managing divorce.

“Attorneys make money off of giving the couple bad advice, telling them to submit false claims against each other and pass the buck to the children,” he emphasized.

Turning to Cohen, Smotrich said, “These are negative trends. Instead of us knowing how to isolate, and then dealing very seriously with true complaints, today we are encouraging false allegations as part of divorce disagreements.”

“The results are horrendous. The percentage of suicides among divorced fathers is disproportionate to every other part of the population in the State of Israel. The fact is that today there is no decent living stipend, no minimum that you leave the father before you start taking child support at astronomic levels. There’s no standard.

“I have no argument against this, that when both partners can allow themselves they should provide their children with everything they need with grace and abundance. But when Dad does not have anything to live off of, and he goes to live with his parents or on the floor in some storage room, and he doesn’t have anything to eat, and when he takes his children to his home he has no way of buying them food and he goes to collect donations to cover it – that’s something that’s completely insane.”

“We need balance. We’re not against women, and we’re not against men. Divorce is an awful thing, and we need to strengthen the institution of the nuclear family. Preventive treatment is always better. The divorce rates in the West are awful and horrific. It’s awful for society, for parents, and for children,” he concluded.

From Arutz Sheva, here.

Benzi Gopstein: The Temple Mount Yeshiva and Kollel

The Sleeping Heart Begins To Awaken – The Temple Mount Revolution!