Does Aliyah Make Children Go off the Derech? It’s Up to You!

Why my family didn’t make Aliyah

FEB 1, 2021

Almost exactly forty five years ago, my mother and grandparents stood anxiously at the airport in Austria, barely able to believe that it was real. After spending their entire lives living under the Iron Curtain, freedom was finally within grasp. Freedom to pursue their dreams, freedom to be who they were, without having to blush. Freedom to be proud of who they were- Jews. Thanks to the selfless and persistent efforts of their brethren abroad, they were finally free to come home to their homeland, to Israel. However, the sudden allure of being given the opportunity to immigrate to America made the choice an ever so difficult one- where to come home to? Israel or America?

Unlike most families that took the time to discuss and decide in advance where they would start their new lives, my family was still in limbo as they arrived at the airport. My grandfather, enamored by the appeal of Marlboro cigarettes and Chevrolet Impalas could not pass up the opportunity to move to the country he had always dreamed of and read about. My grandmother on the other hand was adamant about moving to Israel. She felt a debt of gratitude to her people, who had worked so tirelessly to grant her freedom. As a result of the movement to free Soviet Jewry, she felt that she was a part of something greater than herself. She was part of a people, who cared about her, and she cared for them. Moving to Israel was just the natural choice for her. As they stood at the airport quarrelling, bickering, and moving suitcases back and forth between lines, my grandfather said one phrase which ended the discussion: “They won’t accept us there anyway- we aren’t religious, so no one wants us in Israel.” And with that my grandmother gave in and moved her suitcase towards the line for New York.

How comical and pathetic. If only they knew what Israel was really like. Standing at that airport in 1976, my grandparents changed the entire trajectory of their lives based on the assumption that Israel was a religious theocracy that would not accept them due to their lack of knowledge of religious practice. While nothing could further from the truth, today hundreds of thousands of Jews are making the same mistake in America, but in reverse. Let me explain.

Despite COVID and the political, social and economic upheavals that are engulfing the United States today, the mere thought of mass Jewish immigration to Israel from the US, still feels like a very remote possibility. Most Jews in America would exhaust all other possible relocation options first before even giving Israel an afterthought. Florida, Texas, Canada, New Zealand- anywhere but Israel. That being said, there is a very rapidly growing demographic of Jews that has just recently started to consider the possibility of moving to Israel down the road- for the first time ever. I am referring to the “Chareidi” Jews of America- the yeshiva world. They feel threatened physically and economically, while also feeling alienated politically. Of all demographics in America, this may be the one that is most likely to make the move and succeed. While many in these communities are beginning to take a serious look at this possibility, as a whole, they aren’t quite there yet. What’s holding them back are assumptions that are not too different from the assumptions my grandparents made at the airport in Austria.

Perhaps the greatest fear and assumption amongst the American Yeshiva world is that if they move to Israel, their children will inevitably go “off the derech”- that they will abandon their religious faith and practice. This community invests tremendously in their children, and their children are their greatest “assets.” So it’s understandable that ensuring that their children are protected, nurtured and given the tools to succeed and grow spiritually is of utmost importance to them. Most religious Jews that I have spoken to in the US about the prospects of making Aliyah have cited this factor as the main reason for not making Aliyah- they are simply not willing to sacrifice their children’s spiritual and educational wellbeing for any sort of religious or nationalistic aspirations of coming back to their homeland- Eretz Yisrael.

What is fascinating is that most of the people whom I have spoken to, have never actually done any serious research about what kind of chinuch-educational- opportunities exist here in Israel. Most have never spoken to families that have moved here with school age children. Most have never spent time in or experienced communities of American religious Jews who are living and thriving here in Israel. While many have come here on vacations and for short term learning experiences- their understanding and experience of what actually exists on the ground here is extremely limited to Ramat Eshkol and the Waldorf Astoria. Most have not taken the time to do any significant research and are content relying on the false assumptions and stereotypes that they have heard through the grapevine.

Their assumptions are based on speaking to people that have either never actually lived here or the minority that did not succeed and moved back to the US. They have not made any real attempts to get information from people and families that actually have succeeded and are loving (almost) every minute of it. They have not had conversations with families that can attest that the atmosphere of wholesomeness, simplicity, spirituality-ruchniyus– that children absorb here are incomparable to what they can get anywhere else in the world. They are happy to remind themselves that Lakewood is “safer” and “better” for their children than Tel Aviv and Rishon LeTzion. They are forgetting that there are dozens of communities that meet all of their religious criteria and offer a better environment for their children here than where they currently are residing abroad. They never took the time to spend a Shabbos in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Ramot, Rechovot, Neve Yaakov, Tel Tzion or Maale Amos.

If only they would… If only they cared enough to try… to make the phone calls, to speak to the right people, to get the guidance from people in the know. If only they cared enough to pray for the opportunity to come and live here, just as they pray for health, for children, for parnassah. If only they did their hishtadlus- practical effort, they would find that it is a tremendous upgrade in their lives, as thousands of people living here can attest. But most importantly, it is within their grasp…but only if they truly want it.

From TOI blog, here.

י”א שהחיסון עלול לגרום לעקרות

רופאים אירופאים חתמו על עצומה: “החיסון עשוי לגרום לנזק בלתי הפיך לפוריות”

עצומה שהופנתה לסוכנות התרופות האירופאית מבקשת לעצור נכון לעתה את הפצת החיסון לאזרחי היבשת בשל חשש מהשלכות הרות אסון

עצומה המיוחדת הרופאים דורשים בדיקה מוגברת או “פעולה רגולטורית” על ניסויים קליניים במועמדות לחיסונים שנועדו לבחון יעילות כנגד COVID-19, כך על פי עצומה שפורסמה לאחרונה.

הרופאים מדגישים כי החיסון המסייע לחולה ליצור נוגדנים כנגד חלבוני ספייק של SARS-CoV-2 אחראי גם להתפתחות השליה אצל נשים, Syncytin-1, ועלול ללבוש צורה גם של חלבוני ספייק של נגיפי SARS.

בפועל: “אין שום אינדיקציה אם נוגדנים כנגד חלבוני ספייק של נגיפי SARS יפעלו גם על נוגדנים אנטי סינציטין-1 הקשורים בשליה”, נכתב בעתירה.

“עם זאת, אם זה המקרה, זה ימנע היווצרות שליה שתביא לכך שנשים מחוסנות בעצם יהפכו לבלתי פוריות”, כך נכתב.

העותרים, ד”ר וולפגנג וודרג וד”ר מייקל יידון, בהתאמה, מדגישים שניהם כי הם פועלים בתום לב ופונים לסוכנות התרופות האירופית (EMA) בבקשה לפעול מידית.

“תושבי האיחוד / אזרחים רבים באיחוד האירופי יסבלו מפגיעה בלתי הפיכה מכיוון שברגע שה-EMA יאשר את החיסון המדובר ב-COVID-19, הן ממשלות המדינות החברות באיחוד והן המעסיקים באיחוד האירופי, ימליצו עליהם לשימוש נרחב”.

“עצומה זו גם אינה קלת דעת והיא נעשית בתום לב כיוון שהיא מבקשת להגביר את שלמותם המדעית ואת מהימנותם של הניסויים בחיסוני COVID-19.”

מאתר HEBREW NEWS, כאן.

‘Try It, Kid. You’ll Like It’. The First One’s Free!’

THE QUIET ASSASSIN

You know the well-worn joke: My wife and I have an arrangement. She decides the small, trivial things, like where we live, which schools my children attend, and who they marry. I decided the big things, like whether the US should leave NATO, how the world should address global warming, and the pros and cons of space exploration.

In a sense, I feel the same applies to these elections. While everyone is handwringing over the “big issue” — picking a president — a smaller, yet much more consequential change has happened under our collective noses, garnering hardly any attention. For while the presidential vote certainly has great impact on our communities, it really is impossible at this point to assess the particulars. As per the saying, “Leiv melachim v’sarim b’yad Hashem” (by the way, there is no such precise pasuk), it is difficult to predict with any degree of certainty how a given president will affect our lives.

The much more salient vote took place on the same day, and will likely have significant consequences for our community. Recreational marijuana was legalized in New Jersey — and it is likely that New York will be pressured to follow suit. But even if New York does not fold, the effect on the bochurim living in the Tristate area may be devastating. A strong, concerted, unified response and policy is critical… and it has to be implemented soon.

The problem with marijuana use is not health per se. Cannabis may or may not be a gateway to much more dangerous drug abuse. But the more pressing problem is that pot kills motivation. It absolutely destroys it.

Speak to the many rebbeim who have worked in the past with bochurim who need “space”; they know this from firsthand experience. The modus operandi of such yeshivos would be to cut the bochurim slack when they arrived for first-year beis medrash. In general, by Chanukah the boys would get bored with doing nothing and start working.

Bochurim have a natural drive to make something of themselves that kicks in about this age. This drive is harnessed toward self-improvement. It is a well-known and effective formula that has been employed in many of the “chilled out” yeshivos in Eretz Yisrael and elsewhere.

Two things have undermined the approach, however. The first has been the rapid spread in the use of smartphones. The bochurim could dull their senses by being constantly entertained on their phones with the latest meshugas or worse — and the lingering feeling of “what am I doing with my life?” was anesthetized.

But even more pernicious was what happened to the bochurim who came from the parts of the country, and from Canada, where marijuana use was legalized or decriminalized. The effect on them was nothing short of devastating, and it was simply impossible to “get through” to them. There was nobody home.

Now, I am reporting how things worked some ten years ago. Marijuana use has become much more widespread over time. And readers shouldn’t delude themselves into thinking that this applies only to “troubled” bochurim. It does not. Ask around and you’ll see… and this was before New Jersey’s legalization.

The term “crisis” has lost its power from overuse, and it was never more applicable than now. This issue has to be addressed head-on. How? Firstly, by acknowledging the problem. Burying one’s head in the sand or looking away will only exacerbate the issue. It won’t make it go away.

Continue reading…

From Mishpacha Magazine, here.

How Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski zatzal CHASTENED His Fellow Jew

Rabbi Abraham Twerski’s Copious Blessings

The trailblazing rabbi died at the age of 90, a week after publishing his 90th book.

Several months after becoming director of the department of psychiatry at Pittsburgh’s St. Francis hospital, founded and run by the Sisters of St. Francis, Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski was summoned to meet the bishop. Bishop Wright wanted Rabbi Twerski (whom he would always call Rabbi despite his medical credentials) to counsel the nuns who were having trouble adjusting to the liberalization of the convent by Vatican II.

After a long conversation discussing the project, Rabbi Twerski could no longer contain himself. He said to the bishop, “You know, the historical relationship between the Church and the Jews has not always been pleasant. Isn’t it a bit ironic that when the Church is in trouble, you have recourse to a rabbi?”

To that the bishop rejoined with a smile, “My dear rabbi, even in the worst of times, the popes’ personal physicians were Jewish.”

“Well, then,” Rabbi Twerski said with his signature humor, “if you should make it to the papacy, you already have your personal Jewish doctor. The only problem is that you chose a psychiatrist, and that might cause some people to raise their eyebrows.”

The bishop laughed heartily and gave Rabbi Twerski a bear hug. When the young rabbi was ready to depart, the bishop bowed his head and asked, “Bless me, rabbi.”1

The story is epigrammatic of his life. His professional accomplishments were monumental. After twenty years at St. Francis Hospital, Rabbi Twerski founded the Gateway Rehabilitation Center for alcoholics and drug addicts, which Forbes magazine designated as one of America’s “top twelve rehabilitation programs.” He oversaw Gateway’s expansion to a network of facilities throughout Pennsylvania and Ohio that treat over 1500 clients daily. He founded the Sha’ar Hatikvah rehabilitation center for prisoners in Israel. He authored ninety books on psychology and Jewish spirituality. He lectured internationally and was featured in hundreds of magazine and newspaper articles. Yet he did it all as a blessing.

Becoming a Psychiatrist

The scion of an esteemed Chasidic dynasty, the young Rabbi Twerski longed to counsel people. For a few years he served as an assistant to his father, the Hornsteipler Rebbe of Milwaukee, but the duties of a congregational rabbi, performing weddings, funerals, unveilings, and Bar Mitzvahs, did not appeal to him. His decision to become a doctor was clinched one day when he visited a congregation member in the hospital. The patient told him, “Your father was here yesterday. It was so remarkable, because ever since my operation, I was not free of pain. Nothing the doctors prescribed seemed to help. But yesterday, when your father walked in, I felt the pain lift off, as if by magic.”

The young Rabbi Twerski realized that he could not help people by wielding the spiritual powers in which Chasidic rebbes like his father were adept. He would have to find another way, by becoming a psychiatrist.

Still, he was reluctant to break the chain of rabbis that went back many generations in his family. He consulted Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as the Steipler, the foremost Torah authority in the Jewish world. Much to his surprise, the Steipler approved Rabbi Twerski’s going to medical school. At the same time, he suggested safeguards that would prevent him from deviating from Torah principles: to study Torah every day, to honor the sanctity of Shabbos by not studying secular subjects or even reading a newspaper on Shabbos, and to pray fervently for Divine guidance. Rabbi Twerski held to these practices throughout his ninety years of life.

While always loyal to Jewish tradition, Rabbi Twerski had the courage to explode taboos. His book The Shame Borne in Silence on spousal abuse in the Jewish community met with bitter opposition, but eventually a chastened community owned up to the problem and set up organizations to deal with it. His book on gambling addiction, Compulsive Gambling: More than Dreidel likewise brought gambling addiction in the Jewish community out of the closet.

Guard Your Eyes

At the age of 79, Rabbi Twerski was retired when two young men approached him. They had an innovative idea of an internet site to deal with Jewish men trapped by pornography. They were providing a free, anonymous site for those ranging from occasional viewers to addicts, with three levels of cutting-edge programs, and a world-wide support group.

By this time in his life Rabbi Twerski had received numerous awards as well as three honorary degrees. He could have looked down on these young whipper-snappers as quixotic idealists compared to his lengthy record of solid achievement. He could have chosen to rest on his laurels instead of plunging into a pioneering effort. He could have written a few lines of endorsement and sent them away. Instead, Rabbi Twerski joined forces with them to promote Guardyoureyes.com, which has helped more than 40,000 Jews struggling against pornography addiction. In addition to his public support of GYE in videos and live lectures, Rabbi Twerski accompanied GYE founders Yaakov Nadel and Yechezkel Stelzer on fundraising trips. He traipsed through the snow with them in Toronto, knocking on doors to ask for donations.

In November, 2018, at the age of 88, Rabbi Twerski ignited a firestorm by writing in Hamodia newspaper an article he called, “My Well Has Run Dry.” In it he lamented that he no longer had the creativity to write and to offer new pearls of inspiration. His pain at no longer being able to help—and to bless—was palpable. The letters of protest from his legions of admirers came flooding in. They refused to accept his resignation. And, as always, he bowed to the will of those eager to receive from him.

Just last week, his 90th book, Tallis & Tefillin, Bagels & Lox: Two Components to Living a Spiritual Life was published by Menucha Publishers. The day before he took ill with Covid-19, just a week before he died, he was still in email correspondence with his publisher. And he had already submitted a couple of chapters for his 91st book.

Continue reading…

From Aish.com, here.

Corona Restrictions and Pikuach Nefesh

a cure worse than the disease

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Scott Atlas writes (emphasis added by me):

Here’s the reality — almost all states and major cities, with a handful of exceptions, have implemented severe restrictions for many months, including closures of businesses and in-person school, mobility restrictions and curfews, quarantines, limits on group gatherings, and mask mandates dating back to at least the summer. These measures did not significantly change the typical pattern or damage from the SARS2 virus.

He goes on to cite statistics to convey the extent of the damage caused by the restrictions and policies put in place, e.g. increases in domestic abuse, child abuse, thousands of cancer cases that went undetected and untreated, estimates of decreased life expectancy caused by the stress of unemployment, etc.  He concludes:

We know we have not yet seen the full extent of the damage from lockdowns, because it will last for decades. Perhaps that is why lockdowns were not recommended in previous pandemic analyses, even for infections with far higher death rates.

The lockdown fanatics keep screaming about pikuach nefesh.  I agree 100%  that it’s pikuach nefesh — lockdowns literally kill people.

From Divrei Chaim, here.