Rabbi Miller to Women: At Home Dress Up; on the Street Just Be Plain.

Q:
Can a woman wear a custom made sheitel?

A:
Let me explain something about this subject of sheitelech. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings; I want to make everybody happy and wearing a sheitel is certainly a good thing. But you should know that some sheitelim look too natural.

And therefore long-haired sheitelim I think should be avoided. I won’t tell you exactly what to do, but you must know there is a responsibility on women to be able to come before the bais din shel maaleh when the time is up and she should be able to say, “I wasn’t the cause of anybody who was looking at me too much.”

A woman should never be in a position where she is liable to be blamed for causing men to look at her. It’s not her fault that she is a woman, but she has to be careful not to misuse that privilege. Her husband is the one who has to look at her; others should not look.

And therefore if you are too careful with your appearance, it’s looking for trouble. I don’t say you shouldn’t look good, but to make it your business to look attractive that’s not right.

At home many people are slovenly, they’re sloppy. The husband sees a sloppy wife at home but on the street she dresses to kill! It should be the opposite. At home you should dress up and make the best impression on your husband; on the street just be plain.

TAPE # E-152 (September 1998)

From Toras Avigdor, here.