JUDAISM: ‘Everybody Has a Plan Until They Get Punched in the Mouth’

Authored by: העורך Editor
[Note: mostly unedited.]
  • Everybody has a good relationship with Hashem until they see someone who really davens.

  • Everybody feels pretty good about themselves until they read Pirkei Avos slowly.

  • Everyone knows how to learn until they meet someone who wipes the floor with them.

  • Everyone has a great spouse until someone decides to change.

  • Everyone has a great connection with their children until they go and get married.

  • Everyone knows why children go off until, until… rachmana litzlan

  • Everyone has a wonderful, comprehensive, and Torah-true shita for life’s challenges, until forced to test it on themselves.

  • Everyone can resist temptation (the yetzer is an intellectual thing!) until they meet temptation.

  • Everyone adores that sefer until they check the footnotes.

  • Everyone has a close rebbe until he is stone cold when you need him the most.

  • Everyone admires our perfect Achronim until they seriously study some sugya for themselves, and then wonder.

  • Everyone is a big masmid until they must travel, make a simcha, or it’s Bein Hazmanim.

  • Everyone has a great Talmid Chacham they are proud to know, until the mask slips.

  • Everyone understands Hashem’s world plan until they read the wrong Holocaust book.

  • Everyone understands almost everything until they wake up and realize they understand almost nothing and look up Descartes (or a frum alternative) as they struggle to put their finger on what it is they do know.

Everybody is alive and active until God Almighty kills them dead.

A prayer found online:

Dear Lord,

So far I’ve done all right.

I haven’t gossiped,

haven’t lost my temper,

haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent.

I’m really glad about that.

 

But in a few minutes, God,

I’m going to get out of bed.

And from then on,

I’m going to need a lot more help.