יהושע אלט Yehoshua Alt

Davening at Gravesites

(See dedication opportunities for the new book below.)

The gemara[1] relates that Reish Lakish would mark the boundaries of where the Rabbis were buried. The simple meaning, Rashi explains,[2] is so that Kohanim would not inadvertently walk over them, thereby contracting tumah. In this way the righteous wouldn’t be a cause of harm to others. This seems abstruse since for Kohanim any grave would be a problem, not just that of tzadikim. Consequently, R’ Yaakov Emden[3] explains that Reish Lakish identified those graves so that people who wanted to daven by the graves of tzadikim would know where to find them.[4]

We find this idea in connection with Kalev. To be saved from being persuaded by the atzas meraglim, designs of the meraglim, Kalev davened over the kivrei avos, graves of the patriarchs.[5] Indeed, the Baal Haturim points out that the end letters of the words said in connection with the meraglim, Chamas va’yaalu ba’negev va’yavo,[6] they ascended in the south and he arrived at Chevron, spell avos.[7]

The gemara[8] says that one reason for going to a cemetery[9] is so that the deceased who are buried there should beg for mercy on our behalf. This cannot mean that we are allowed to daven to the dead to ask them to help us as that is forbidden because of lo yihyeh lecha, you shall not recognize the gods of others in My presence[10] and maybe also because of v’doreish el ha’meisim, one who consults the dead.[11]

So what does it mean? Some[12] hold it means that it is permitted to speak directly to the deceased, requesting them to daven to Hashem on our behalf. This practice draws a parallel to the tefillos we find that are directed towards malachim, who are merely Hashem’s messengers and lack independent agency. Consequently, it is permitted to address the dead directly and ask them to intervene on our behalf.

Conversely, others[13] disagree and say that addressing a deceased person is a violation of v’doreish el ha’meisim. “Asking the dead to pray for mercy on our behalf” means davening directly to Hashem beseeching Him to extend His mercy in the merit of the deceased. Visiting the graves serves as a reminder to Hashem of the merits of the tzadikim who are buried there.

The majority of the classical authorities, including the Be’er Heitev, Chayei Adam, Mateh Efraim and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, rule in accordance with the second view. The Mishna Brura[14] explicates that we visit graves because a cemetery housing the remains of tzadikim is a place where tefillos are more readily answered. However, a person shouldn’t put his trust in the deceased. Instead, he should just ask Hashem to have mercy on him in the merit of the tzadikim who are interred there.

Other poskim maintain that to talk to the deceased [or to malachim] to intercede on our behalf is permissible. The Minchas Elazar[15] proves from a host of sources throughout the gemara and Zohar that not only is this permitted but it is a mitzvah to do so. In line with the more lenient perspectives, the extent of permissible action is limited to asking them to act as our emissaries before Hashem, so that Hashem will look favorably and mercifully upon us.

(See dedication opportunities for the new book at the end.)

The Kindness of Reincarnation

Rabbi Yehoshua Alt

The pasuk states dor holeich v’dor ba, a generation goes and a generation comes.[1] At first glance it seems to be out of order because first a generation comes to the world and then it leaves. This pasuk alludes to the concept of gilgulim, reincarnation, where a generation already came. Therefore the order of the wording is accurate.

The Megale Amukos[2] writes that reincarnation is a chessed of Hashem, where any Jew can fix what he messed up.[3] This is alluded to by the fact that the word gilgul (spelled gimel, lamed, gimel, vuv, lamed) has the same gematria as the word chessed (72).

In elucidating the concept of gilgulim within the context of the purpose of creation, the Ramchal[4] writes: There is another important principle regarding Hashem’s Providence. That is, that the heavenly wisdom arranged to add another [possibility of] success — that a person’s neshama should enter this world at different times and in different bodies. In this way it will be able to rectify in one period of time what it corrupted in another one or to finish what has not yet been accomplished.

In the year 1936, R’ Dovid Shechter, the father of R’ Yaakov Meir Shechter, was davening at the Kosel when he suddenly heard someone crying bitterly. This man was scheduled to make a wedding in the near future for his daughter[5] but had no money for it. R’ Dovid invited him to his house where he gave the man the funds (which were originally intended for the wedding of his own son that was to be held six months later) needed for the wedding. Later in the day when R’ Dovid was davening Mincha with R’ Shlomke Zvhiller, R’ Shlomke asked R’ Dovid, “You are glowing today. What did you do to merit this?” After R’ Dovid reluctantly related what happened, R’ Shlomke commented, “Because of what you did, you rectified your neshama in this gilgul and previous gilgulim.”

Accruing Affluence

The Maharsha[1] writes that a person should put aside money for his old age.

We can learn from Yosef’s actions — save from the years of plenty for the years of scarcity.[2] Likewise, a person should accrue money when he is younger for the future time of his old age. This is proper hishtadlus, just as a person would do hishtadlus for other matters the Torah requires.[3]

An allusion to this can be found in the words, b’zei’as apecha tochal lechem, by the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread.[4] This can be interpreted as b’zei’as apecha, work, so that tochal lechem, you will have sustenance when you are older. Most people reach a juncture in their life when they live off the work they did when they were younger.

A Life That Matters

When a person says that he is making a living, what he means is that he is making an existence. Earning money is merely surviving. No matter how much money a person earns, it does not make his life meaningful.[1] Making a living means making meaningful contributions to the world. How is the world now a better place because of you? How will the world look differently by the time you exit it?

A chassid asked his Rebbe what his thoughts were on the age-old quandary of whether the cup was half empty or half full. The Rebbe said that the answer is obvious — the cup is completely full. It is half full of water and half full of air. People can live without water for a while but it is not possible for a person to live without air for more than a few minutes. People look at their lives and see that it is half empty but that is insignificant compared to how full it is with what matters. The air of life is your contributions to the world, the meaning you add to the world. Will anyone miss you when you leave this world? Why will they miss you? What have you achieved? What significant contributions will you leave behind in this world?

At the funeral of a very successful millionaire named David, the eulogizer, Jay, mentioned the wealthy man’s accomplishments. He praised David’s many great business dealings, the real estate he acquired throughout his life, the immense amount of luxury cars he owned and his brand-name watch collection.[2] Jay suddenly realized that David’s family felt embarrassed. They requested that Jay make the focus on his accomplishments in meaningful arenas such as the charity he gave and the Torah he learned.

Why did those present feel awkward when David’s material achievements were mentioned? The answer is because everyone wants to leave this world being remembered for their meaningful, deeper, spiritual accomplishments. Most people spend the majority of their time chasing physical matters even though they know internally that this is not the legacy they want to leave behind. Who wants to be remembered for their muscles, nice appearance or wealth? We must ask ourselves: “What do you want people to remember about you after you leave this world?” Once we obtain the answer to this, we can dedicate the rest of our days pursuing those things.

Outcome of Income

There is a Torah principle that the amount of money we earn depends on how much we give.[1] If, for example, we earn $10,000 and give $1,000 to maaser, then the following year Hashem may give us $15,000 so that we can give $1,500 to maaser. If, however, we then give $1,700 to charity, then we may receive $17,000 the next year.

If we cut back and give only $1,700, which is proportionately less than before, then Hashem may do the same to us.[2] This is in accordance with the principle of mida k’neged mida, meaning Hashem metes out “measure for measure.”[3] It could turn out that the amount of maaser a person originally gave ($1,000) now becomes his base income. This is one explanation in the words, v’ish es kedoshov lo yihyu,[4] the amount of money he gave to maaser (kedoshov) may now be his salary (lo yihyu).

A fascinating allusion is found in the words, aseir te’aseir, you shall surely tithe.[5] The words aseir te’aseir can be hyper-literally translated into “tithe (aseir) tuv, ayin, sin, reish (i.e., the letters of te’aseir).” What do we get when we take a tithe of ten percent from the letters that comprise the word te’aseir?

As shown in the chart below, the numerical value of tuv is 400. One-tenth of that is 40, which is equivalent to the gematria of the letter mem. The next letter is ayin, which equals 70. One-tenth of 70 is 7, which is the gematria of zayin. Following that is shin which equals 300, and one-tenth of 300 is 30, the gematria of lamed. Lastly, reish is 200, and 1/10 of 200 is 20, the same as the gematria of chof.

The upshot of all this is that taking a ten percent tithe of the letters that comprise the word te’aseir results in the word mazalcha (spelled mem, zayin, lamed, chof), “your mazel!” This hints to the fact that the amount of money you give adds up to what you will receive in return.[6]

Looking at the word nassan (spelled nun, tuv, nun), give, we notice that it is a palindrome, meaning it is spelled the same forwards and backwards. This alludes to the notion that what a person gives to charity, he will receive in return.[7]

Another hint to this is found in the word mamon, money, as the hidden letters are the same as the revealed letters. That is to say: mem spelled out is mem-mem, vav is vav-vav, and nun is nun-nun.

The words aseir (spelled ayin, sin, reish), tithe, and osher (spelled ayin, shin reish), wealth, are essentially spelled the same, but there is a slight difference between them. In the word osher, the letter shin has a dot on the right side, whereas in the word aseir, the letter sin has a dot on the left. With this in mind, we can understand the pasuk, im hasmeol v’amina v’im hayamin v’asmeila,[8] which literally means “if you choose the left, then I will go to the right, and if you choose the right, then I will go to the left.” For the purposes of our discussion, this can be expounded to mean that if you go left (i.e., you place the dot on the left so that it becomes the letter sin and creates the word aseir) and tithe, then Hashem says, “I will go right” (i.e., place the dot on the right so that it becomes the letter shin and creates the word osher) and [grant] wealth. On the other hand, if you go right, osher, and do not give proper maaser, then Hashem says, “I will go left,” aseir, your livelihood may be the amount of maaser you once gave.[9]