How Rabbi Tzvi Kushelevsky Found His Second Shidduch
A Shidduch in the Blink of an Eye
The shidduch process can be very frustrating, waiting for suggestions, waiting for responses. Sometimes, things look like they are going so well, and all of a sudden, everything falls apart. Sometimes, after waiting a long time, a prospective shidduch is finally set up. The girl begins getting excited, hoping this could be the one. Then, on the day they are supposed to meet, the boy calls in sick and somehow never follows through.
Getting rejected or overlooked is considered tremendous yesurin. We don’t know why people have to experience them, but for sure, they are accomplishing so much through their experience. Every moment of waiting is accomplishing different types of tikkunim that will benefit them for all eternity. As hard as it is to imagine, everything is happening exactly the way Hashem wants it to happen, for the person’s benefit.
If the person can stay strong in their emunah and trust that they are in Hashem’s loving hands, the value of what they are experiencing will become exponentially greater. No matter how long it has been or how bleak it seems, we must always have the emunah of ישועת ה’ כהרף עין -everything can change in the blink of an eye. Salvation can literally come at a moment’s notice. Part of a person’s responsibility as a God-fearing Jew is to always have hope that salvation could come instantly.
The Jewish world was overjoyed when we found out last year that a Rosh Yeshiva in Israel had his first baby at the age of 88. The Rosh Yeshiva had lost his first wife in 2015 and then, at the age of 82, remarried a woman in 2018 who was more than 30 years younger than him. Six years later, she miraculously gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The Rebbetzin told the incredible story of how this shidduch took place at a massive gathering in Lakewood, and Rabbi Binyamin Prusansky related it in his new book, Living with Miracles.
After marrying late and having a family, she found herself alone again. She was nearly 50 years old and had one dream: to marry a talmid chacham. She strengthened her emunah and prayed to Hashem to make it happen.
In the meantime, she dedicated a sefer on tefilla as a zechut for herself and others, written by Rabbi Daniel Travis. She was hoping to get married within the year, but as the end of the year approached, not one shidduch had been suggested to her.
One Erev Shabbat, she brought her son to the orthopedist to have his cast removed. On her way into the building, she slipped and fell down a flight of steps. She hobbled into the office and was told that she had pulled some tendons and might have a hairline fracture. When she arrived home, she sat in the kitchen and elevated her leg, resting her foot on a chair while her children prepared for Shabbat.
As she sat there, she noticed her diary on the kitchen table. Skimming through it, she came to a notation she had made for Tu B’Av, which was just two weeks away. The date was circled, and written on the page were the words, Im Yirtzeh Hashem, My Wedding Day. Sitting there with her injured foot, just two weeks away from what she so fervently believed would be her wedding day, she felt dejected.
She had worked so hard on her bitachon. How could this be the outcome? But then she caught herself and said, “Hashem can do anything. I need to remain hopeful—Hashem could bring me a shidduch in the blink of an eye.” That Shabbat, she focused her thoughts and heart on building her confidence that Hashem could answer her tefillot כהרף עין.
On Motza’eh Shabbat, a shadchan called with a suggestion—it was the Rosh Yeshiva. The shadchan said what set her resume apart from others was that Rabbi Daniel Travis, a student of the Rosh Yeshiva, was listed as one of her references. Rabbi Travis read to the Rosh Yeshiva the dedication she had written in his sefer, which expressed her profound love and support for Torah. Those words convinced the Rosh Yeshiva that he had found his zivug.
Their meeting took place during the Nine Days. About thirty minutes into their conversation, the Rosh Yeshiva asked her, “What date would you like the wedding to be?” Unprepared for the question, she steered the conversation in a different direction. But then, ten minutes later, he asked again, and again she diverted the discussion.
A few minutes later, he asked her if she wanted to get married, to which she replied, “Yes.”
“So when do you want the wedding to take place?” he asked.
She said, “Tu B’Av is a beautiful day to get married.”
“Tu B’Av it is,” the Rosh Yeshiva answered. And eleven days later, their wedding was held.
It had seemed like salvation was far off. But the Rebbetzin renewed her strength in believing in ישועת ה’ כהרף עין, and amazingly, she was married on Tu B’Av, just as she had hoped.