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The Unstated Logic of Every Minimum Wage Law

Gary North – November 09, 2017

A deputy sheriff pays a visit to a small business. He confronts the owner.

DS: I see you got a “help wanted” sign in your window.

Owner: That is correct.

DS: How much is the starting wage?

Owner: The federal minimum wage.

DS: We got a local minimum wage of $15 an hour.

Owner: I cannot afford that much.

DS: That don’t cut it with me, boy. The city government says you got to pay a living wage.

Owner: I already do. All of my employees are alive.

DS: You trying to make me look stupid, boy?

Owner: You don’t need any help from me.

DS: I see. A smart ass. Well, we got ways of dealing with smart asses. I’m writing you up. You’re going to pay a $10,000 fine, I expect.

Owner: That’s outrageous.

DS: No, it ain’t. $334,000 is outrageous. That’s what Seattle collects. We’re real lenient around here.

Owner: But I cannot afford to pay $15/hour.

DS: Well, then, you need to go into another line of work.

Owner: But I have invested everything I own in this business. I took out a large loan.

DS: Then you better have gotten someone to co-sign the note.

Owner: I will have to fire all my employees.

DS: Then they will get jobs that pay a living wage.

Owner: But they can’t get jobs that pay more than I do. That’s why they took my offer. I’m the best deal they have.

DS: You’re one of them exploiters. You take advantage of poor people. That’s not going to be allowed.

Owner: You’re going to kill small businesses all over town.

DS: Serves them right.

Owner: But how will they support their families?

DS: Not my problem.

Owner: Would you call no wage a living wage?

DS: Look, smart ass, I don’t want none of your sass. I got this badge. I got this gun. You got no say in the matter.

Owner: This law is going to backfire. Unemployment will go up.

DS: Maybe. But the voters won’t put two and two together. They’ll blame Trump. They’ll elect Democrats.

Owner: Who will then vote to raise the minimum wage nationally?

DS: That’s the plan.

Owner: Then unemployment will rise nationally.

DS: The Democrats will get to blame Trump for three years. I have seen this before. That’s what Obama did with Bush. He got re-elected.

Owner: Are you a Democrat?

DS: Yes. The sheriff is a Republican. I’m gonna run against him next time. I’ll beat him, too. I plan to campaign on this platform: “Trump did it to you. Get even. Vote for me.” I’ll win in a landslide. Unemployed workers will vote for me.

Owner: But the minimum wage law is why they will be out of work.

DS: That’s the whole idea. They’ll be my constituents in the next election.

Owner: But the government can’t create jobs.

DS: What politician ever won with this slogan? “The government can’t create jobs.” Nobody. Voters think governments create jobs.

Owner: Businesses create jobs.

DS: Rotten jobs that don’t pay a living wage.

Owner: I might as well contact a bankruptcy lawyer.

DS: You might as well. But he’s gonna ask for payment in advance. You got the money? Plus $10,000 for the fine?

Owner: No.

DS: Then you are in a bad way. But that’s not my problem, either.

From Gary North, here.