Netziv Popularizes the Arizal Method of Shalom Bayis: Be a Tzaddik

Wife subordinate to husband to degree he is subordinate to G-d

Netziv(Bereishis 2:24): therefore a man should leave his  father and mother and cleave to his wife – from this we learn the advice that the only way to deal with with his lust and feeling he is lacking a ezer kenegdo must be in the following manner he must leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife and then they will be they will be one flesh That he will love her also as they are like a single person as it states in Yevamos (62b): that if a man loves his wife as himself and also then she will not be entirely subordinate as was the first wife who was viewed as an integral part of him but rather as one flesh. So just as he is concerned with what is good for him and he wants wants to fulfill her wants entirely. Similarly she should also do that when she wants to do what is best for herself and he will fulfill her wishes. Nevertheless  since the causes of the first woman are an inherent part of her nature therefore she remains in her existence as a helper(facilitator). Even though she was not that way initially but became that after eating from the Tree of Knowledge – as we will explain in verse (Bereishis 3:20): this is included in the creation of the world on the 6th day. And only one who merits this  obtains love from his wife with total abnegation as Eve was before the Sin. Therefore  there are two types of cleaving of  Adam and Eve In order that there be for all time  two types of love of a wife to her husband and similarly the manner of a person in serving G-d. All this was done on the first day when they were created as we will see in Bereishis 2:4). Thus was their nature made to have love of the woman and her life with the man. Just as Ben Azai  says at the end Kidushin. “I was created to serve my Master. And they were created to serve me.” To the degree man serves G-d, his wife will serve him or it will be determined by Mazal as is true for all aspects of man. Which comes about through Divine providence according to his deeds either with good or bad Mazal as is the principle governing the world