Excerpt from an article by coach Rabbi Shmuel Brody:
After working in the mental health field for over twenty years, I realized that the hardest thing to convey to people is the importance of being with their children. In general Jews are extremely intelligent and intellectual. This is great, but it can be detrimental when working with our young men. Some parents and educators think that if they just present the boys with the right information—shalom al yisrael—mission accomplished. But the boys need much more than this. They need people to sit with them through their fears and loneliness. Only after a long period where all of the young man’s feelings are accepted can the young man himself accept them and realize that he’s normal. This type of education is experiential, not intellectual.
Some naysayers claim that validating someone’s feelings gives them the excuse to not learn. “I don’t have to push myself to learn, even so-and-so agrees that I’m having such a hard time!” But my experience has shown me the opposite. If you can look someone in the eye and say, “I hear what you’re saying, and I’m with you” (and mean it!), you can almost immediately say, “Ok, now go learn geshmak.” Since they got what they needed, they’ll do it.
I recommend his whole four-part series “Understanding Our Sons”, parts One, Two, Three, Four.