Some pointers, excerpted from Sarah Rivkah Kohn on Mishpacha:
That referral you got from your cousin may be a great one, but run it by someone who does many referrals. They can tell you if there have been any red flags in the past that your cousin may not know about from one experience.
Ask the question: What are you licensed as? Then look it up. For the fields of social work, mental health counseling, or marriage and family therapy, you want to have an L before the licensure. That tells you the clinician passed the licensing exam.
When you’re seeing a PhD, you want it to be in clinical psychology, psychology, or psychiatry. A doctor of philosophy also has a PhD but should not be practicing therapy.
Look up the licensing. It’s all public information. You will see the year the license was given. If you can’t find it, it’s possible the clinician is practicing under their legal name (e.g., Joseph instead of Yossi as you know him on the street) or it could be a woman has her license under her maiden name. All this is easy enough to clear up really quickly.
When sessions run erratically — sometimes they’re 30 minutes, sometimes two hours — that’s a red flag right there. Therapy sessions typically run 45–60 minutes for individual therapy and 60–90 minutes for couples or family therapy to give everyone a chance to talk. Some working with very young children will run 30-minute sessions if they feel that’s all the child can do.
Whatever the number is, for the most part that’s where it should stay. I’m not talking about the one-time crisis where a double session is planned for and needed. I’m talking about a session that doesn’t end when it should end. I’m talking about erratic timings.
This is often very appealing to people in a vulnerable state. It emits the I-will-be-here-for-you-as-long-as-you-need vibe. Good therapy, however, is built around boundaries. Healthy boundaries include a safe and consistent start and end time. If a therapist is not sticking to that core ethical value, I’d wonder and worry what other ethics are off.
Torah is true no matter the career choice. Firstly, know that some rabbanim feel that one shouldn’t see a clinician of the opposite gender at all. If, for whatever reason, you feel that you must nevertheless see a therapist of the opposite gender, ask how hilchos yichud are observed in their setting. Some use cameras pointed just at the clinician. Some have waiting rooms, windows facing outward, other shared offices — there are many options.
Obviously, the answer itself is important, but what’s more important is the immediate response and the tone in which it’s delivered. Is it one of genuine surprise, as though they’ve never thought of this before? Is it one of frustration and defensiveness? Or is it an open and confident, “Sure, here’s how I do it”? Listen carefully. Ask a sh’eilah if need be. But if you sense any frustration with you for asking the question, run the other way.
See the rest of it here (under the author’s name on the page)…