The Unstated Logic of Every Minimum Wage Law
A deputy sheriff pays a visit to a small business. He confronts the owner.
DS: I see you got a “help wanted” sign in your window.
Owner: That is correct.
DS: How much is the starting wage?
Owner: The federal minimum wage.
DS: We got a local minimum wage of $15 an hour.
Owner: I cannot afford that much.
DS: That don’t cut it with me, boy. The city government says you got to pay a living wage.
Owner: I already do. All of my employees are alive.
DS: You trying to make me look stupid, boy?
Owner: You don’t need any help from me.
DS: I see. A smart ass. Well, we got ways of dealing with smart asses. I’m writing you up. You’re going to pay a $10,000 fine, I expect.
Owner: That’s outrageous.
DS: No, it ain’t. $334,000 is outrageous. That’s what Seattle collects. We’re real lenient around here.
Owner: But I cannot afford to pay $15/hour.
DS: Well, then, you need to go into another line of work.
Owner: But I have invested everything I own in this business. I took out a large loan.
DS: Then you better have gotten someone to co-sign the note.
Owner: I will have to fire all my employees.
DS: Then they will get jobs that pay a living wage.
Owner: But they can’t get jobs that pay more than I do. That’s why they took my offer. I’m the best deal they have.
DS: You’re one of them exploiters. You take advantage of poor people. That’s not going to be allowed.
Owner: You’re going to kill small businesses all over town.
DS: Serves them right.
Owner: But how will they support their families?
DS: Not my problem.
Owner: Would you call no wage a living wage?
DS: Look, smart ass, I don’t want none of your sass. I got this badge. I got this gun. You got no say in the matter.
Owner: This law is going to backfire. Unemployment will go up.
DS: Maybe. But the voters won’t put two and two together. They’ll blame Trump. They’ll elect Democrats.
Owner: Who will then vote to raise the minimum wage nationally?
DS: That’s the plan.
Owner: Then unemployment will rise nationally.
DS: The Democrats will get to blame Trump for three years. I have seen this before. That’s what Obama did with Bush. He got re-elected.
Owner: Are you a Democrat?
DS: Yes. The sheriff is a Republican. I’m gonna run against him next time. I’ll beat him, too. I plan to campaign on this platform: “Trump did it to you. Get even. Vote for me.” I’ll win in a landslide. Unemployed workers will vote for me.
Owner: But the minimum wage law is why they will be out of work.
DS: That’s the whole idea. They’ll be my constituents in the next election.
Owner: But the government can’t create jobs.
DS: What politician ever won with this slogan? “The government can’t create jobs.” Nobody. Voters think governments create jobs.
Owner: Businesses create jobs.
DS: Rotten jobs that don’t pay a living wage.
Owner: I might as well contact a bankruptcy lawyer.
DS: You might as well. But he’s gonna ask for payment in advance. You got the money? Plus $10,000 for the fine?
Owner: No.
DS: Then you are in a bad way. But that’s not my problem, either.
From Gary North, here.