The Awesome Hypocrisy of Hurling Slavery Accusations Against the Torah

As I said in the teaser post, this isn’t the serious answer (I tried giving the barest intro here), but a tu quoque attack which destroys almost everyone. Almost no one is a Rothbardian anarchist, and the Torah isn’t anarchistic in a straightforward, practical way, either, but it’s far closer.
You oppose slavery?! The dictionary says slavery consists of compulsory labor. As Israeli Jews like saying: Bevakashah! (בבקשה)
(I should mention here I stole all this from Rothbard’s “For a New Liberty”, Part Three Chapter 5.)
Do you support citizenship? The Torah doesn’t (at least until, Shaul, etc.). Stateless persons can be nearly-freely abused perfectly legally by all modern states. (Dual-citizenship is trying to leverage states against each other, threatening turf wars if harmed.) As we will demonstrate, citizenship itself is slavery.
You support plenty of laws news and old, right? Do you know what the penalty for law-breaking is? Jail! Do you know what prisoners do in jail? They work (for about a hundredth of “Minimum Wage”, I might add). They are not given a choice. The Torah doesn’t mandate jail, let alone the USG Punishment Clause, but you and yours do. How is that different from slavery?!
The US and other countries have forcible jury duty. The Torah doesn’t. Slavery-apologist! What is the penalty for not testifying? Jail! (לאו שאין בו מעשה) This includes people not accused of a crime, let alone convicted of any!
Subpoenaing the defendant is slavery, too. The secular court is not “Elohim”. Bail is a half-way measure (not to mention it hurts the poor who cannot afford it, most. This is because they pay the least taxes, and even receive welfare).
This is without mentioning the “crimes” themselves are ridiculous, such as prohibited substances, tax evasion, and in Israel, insulting a “public servant” (העלבת עובד ציבור), and insulting the judge himself – “contempt of court”, where the judge is “a judge in his own case”…
Prison is slavery. So are taxes, such as income tax, “Bitu’ach Le’umi”\Social Security, VAT. The employee\employer is working for the government without pay, sometimes at all. Retail tax is slavery for retailers. Even forcing you to file is slavery.
And the two forms of slavery coincide. If R steals from S, S is enslaved to pay for imprisoning R (including arrest, a government lawyer, prosecution, etc., not to mention all the “overhead expenses” the government skims off the top). Then, unless the property is visible, the victim never actually gets it back.
As we have said before, conscription is slavery. In Israel, you have a three-track system, part welfare, and part slavery: Yeshiva\Kollel, Army, and\or Jail.
[You can try to arrange for all three, echoing the story in Yalkut Shemos 13:255: תנא ר’ ישמעאל משל למה הדבר דומה למלך שאמר לעבדו צא והבא לי דג מן השוק הלך והביא לו דג מבאיש אמר ליה חייך חדא מן תלתא לא פלטה לך או סיריות אתה אוכל. או מאה בורלודין אתה לוקה או ממון אתה נותן. אמר אני אוכל סיריות. לא הספיק לאכול עד שנקטה נפשו עליו ואמר אני לוקה לא הספיק ללקות חמישים עד שאמר אני פורע ממון. נמצא אוכל סיריות ולוקה ומשלם ממון. כך אמר הקב”ה לפרעה רשע חייך עשר קטפרס אתה לוקה אלו עשר מכות. וממון אתה נותן וינצלו את מצרים. וישראל אתה תשלח לכך נאמר ויהי בשלח פרעה.]
Citizen = slave. Conscripted citizen = double slave. Soldier in military prison = triple slave. Solitary confinement…
Armies can be voluntary or for pay. The reason conscription is needed is that soldiers are underpaid (Moshe Feiglin pointed that out, too). Indeed, some military industries do well. They’ll pay you well for Rafael, tech support, Dimona, spying on and provoking Jews, piloting jets, consulting, etc.
 AWOL laws are slavery. עציר לפני משפט is especially outrageous. If you quit Intel or Coca-Cola, you don’t get hanged or jailed. Even retiring from the supposedly-necessary police department doesn’t carry punishment. The penalty for breach of contract everywhere else is monetary payment.
Anti-strike laws? Slavery. The laws against hiring scabs and suing for damages etc. are unjust, too, but if you aren’t a government worker and you had no choice about joining the union, then it’s slavery to force you to work.
There are also mental hospitals who forcibly admit patients, although I think this has improved greatly, including in Israel.
Kindly remind me again: What were you saying about slavery in the Torah?
(This was written too quickly; a lot more needs to be added and hedged against.)

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